Small Talk - The Heart of Dating #2

A series on the fundamentals of succeeding in love and lust

Name that trope ;P

To my shyest of Erotes,

So, you’ve successfully matched with someone on one of your chosen dating apps… congratulations! Now, all that’s standing in the way of a first date is exchanging a couple messages. Not so simple? Let’s work together to keep your momentum going! Conversation is hailed as an art form, though many are expected to perform despite having no formal training. Starting the conversation doesn’t have to be as anxiety-inducing or thought-provoking as you’d expect, but there are definitely good starters and bad ones.

The most common mistake that people make is not beginning with something to which the other person can provide a response… no one likes the dreaded “Hi/Hey/Hello” opener without any substance. It comes across as a disengaged greeting that has nothing to do with the receiver, as if you have better things to do than talk to them.

The easiest way to remedy this is to comment on something in their profile that resonates with you, i.e. shared interests or background. Make a joke, ask further questions, or simply express your enthusiasm for the subject at hand, if they message you first. Either way, it’ll make for more free-flowing banter, and start to build a good foundation for when you finally make plans to meet up. You don’t want to discuss too much too quickly, or you won’t have anything to talk about in person, so keep that in mind and try to get to a comfortable point to ask the other person to get off the app and schedule a rendezvous.